my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
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I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
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I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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