Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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