It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
