She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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