when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
