Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
only you would photoshop your dick
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
