Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
