Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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