My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
