I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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