I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize