friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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