i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize