I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
