i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize