I wish I could teleport
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
