i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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