he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Randomize
