I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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