i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
