u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
