just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
