if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
