I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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