I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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