I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Green mimosas i think yes
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize