hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk