I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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