we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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