I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
