we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
