He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
