so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize