I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
