are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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