Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
