if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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