Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
