This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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