im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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