you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
