Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have grass duct taped all over my body
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize