Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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