Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
