Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
