Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
