so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
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