puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
