She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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