walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
