My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think a kid would responsible me up
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
