Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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