I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
