he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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