I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
