Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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