I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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