My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
