I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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